My Lord. Where did they find these bitches? The Nymphomaniac Wing at Belview? Stripper Convention? Catholic School?
They all had the 'Crazy Eyes'. You know, the CRAZY EYES. If you don't know please immediatly netflix How I Met Your Mother. Infact, even if you do know, rent it...cause you are missing out bitches. It's Legen (wait for it) dary. Anyhoo, these women. Wow. Do they set back the women's movement or what? Mall Hair extentions and Forever 21 formals not withstanding, who thinks the best thing to do on a first date is put ones legs behind ones head? Or hyperventilate over the 'hotness' of the man? Obviously these are not Rules Girls. Unless the Rules involve shooters and innapropriate nakedness. Any early bets on which one has crabs?
Poor Brad looked a little frightened.
Some favorite opening quotes from the ladies:
"My mother died when I was twelve"
"You stick your tongue out and I'll give you a reading"
"I broke my nose on a bowling ball."
"I walked around for about 2 hours without a boob."
"I feel bad for you"
"I have some WEBBED toes right here...both feet."
Oh. Why must they sing?
Meanwhile, the party inside had quickly disintegrated into episode 10 of Rock of Love. Klassy.
And really, can you call it a party until someone has lost a chicken cutlet? (aka boob insert?)
D-RUNK.
Mallory the ten foot tall blonde Nanny took off her clothes and hopped in the pool. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "she's a Nanny? Who the Eff lets her watch their kids. Hon, would you let her be our Nanny?'" My Mum actually went back to 1994 and busted out with "Hell to the No!" Dad says "yup, Nanny is total code for stripper." My parents are bad ass.
How jealous can you get over a dude you just met? I think they are all crazy due to the not eating and the bad boob jobs. But that's just me.
It just got worse and worse...I can't WAIT till next time. Some one gets Showgirled down the spiral staircase. Awesome.
Brad will find his wife amongst these Rhodes Scholars, and social elite.
SWEEET GUY.
Sigh Mistrial in the Spector Trial. Sheesh. Seriously.... make a deal. Let the evil muppet keep his wigs and lock him up. Dude is evil. So there.
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2 comments:
Ah, the Bachelor. No greater tale of woe was ever told then of The Bachelor and his ummm, errr, women?
Ahh...but you must watch it, musn't you? It's so bad that we have a weekly party at my house to cackle at the sheer inanity of it. Pathetic.
(and yes, I am crashing your blog)
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